"HOUSE RULES #2"
NOTE: Optional read.
1. I ask you to text because it sounds like you are underwater when you call me.
2. I also have things to do in my day as well, such as car repairs, vet appt's, Dr. appt., grocery shopping, working out, designing websites, making videos, doing research, walking my doggies, feeding my kids and general care for them and my roommate, not to mention cooking and preparing dinner, doing laundry and cleaning the house.
So this means that if you want an appt you cannot call, text or email me and say,"I am coming over now, send me your address."
Sorry that will never work. I work out of my home and it's just me and the kids and I might be driving or busy doing something else or am somewhere else and it would be impossible to get home in like 10 minutes to see you. I am not a robot.
2. If you live outside of Port ST Lucie don't make an appointment, then look up my address and send me a text that says,"Oh your too far!!!!" Have your act together!
"SAMPLE TEXTS OF THINGS NOT TO SEND & OTHERS TO KEEP IN MIND"
3. "Heh," "Hi sexy!" or I tell you what appointment is available and you say "OK Thanks!"
4.The above OK Thanks says NOTHING to me! While I appreciate the compliment the rest of it says to me,"OK I will find someone else, or OK that's not good for me, or OK I'll get back to you." Then when the time rolls around I hear back from you saying,"OK send me the address!" Just complete utter NONSENSE! And then we have "Heh!" What is this? Go find a farm somewhere!
5. If your answer is "OK" then it had better be followed by "OK I will take that time and here is my photo," or "OK thanks I will find someone else."
6.And for those of you that say "Oh I don't send my photo to anyone" you people need to understand that there are many wierd people out there and I have to make sure that you look like a normal person with no drama! Your photo is deleted after you send it.
"SAMPLE OF THINGS I GET THAT ARE SUPER ANNOYING AND I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THAT YOU WILL NEVER EVER COME OVER!"
7.You send me 20 texts!
8.A text that says: "Hello." That's it, just Hello! or "Heh" that's it "Heh" OMG! I am NOT glued to my phone and do NOT have the time or inclination to sit there and text you for the next hour!
9. A text that says” Oh and BTW I am NOT A COP or Law Enforcement!” You people really have to take the cake!
10. You text me while I am working and then if you don't hear back, you keep texting! If I am working (having my hands covered in oil while massaging someone) this means I CANNOT TOUCH my phone and get back to you in lightening speed! A little COMMON SENSE & Patience here goes a long way!
11. And if I ever see you driving around my house you can rest assured that you will NEVER be invited back!
12. I don't know how many times I have to say the following but I will say it again because the majority of you people are only thinking of yourselves! So when you get here DO NOT sit in your car in the driveway because the kids will NEVER stop barking!
13. DO NOT knock, I will know you are here. Just come up to the door and I will let you in.
14. You email me for an appointment and when the time arrives I do not hear from you or you never confirm!
I will NEVER see you EVER if this is your MO!!! Have the courtesy to let me know if you are coming over or not.
15. In addition, I DO NOT see clients around the clock! That means my home is NOT a REVOLVING DOOR! Try to think of my situation instead of always thinking of yourself!
16.PLEASE try and make your appt in advance the sooner you let me know the better.
17.Most of my regular clients know this already and will schedule the day before for the day that they want. My hours are very flexible if you do this, if not my time revolves around a few openings that might not suit your schedule.
18.If I have to wash my hair then I will need an hour notice and if no washing hair day then it's a half hour notice but keep in mind that I am not sitting around doing nothing.
19. I have a lovely home and 2 beautiful schnauzers and a clean and private massage room. I like to take my time with new clients as well as existing clients so try not to be in a big hurry.
20. And DO NOT EVER just come over to my house for any reason without contacting me first because I will never ever see you again!
I am an intelligent woman and I really appreciate all my smart people, so do come and see me soon to offset all the others that I have to see on a regular basis!
Thank You and have a nice day!